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Picture Perfect
Author: nakedsub
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(Added on Aug 21, 2011)
(This month 50264 readers) (Total 58189 readers) |
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Gary is devastated when he finds his wife has been cheating on him. He lays a trap and gets all the evidence he needs for a divorce. His wife lays her own trap only to have it go very wrong. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2011 |
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Wow. Loved the twist ending.
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Okay, let's get one thing clear here. Author "nakedsub" has absolutely no idea of how to use commas. I'm going to be honest and admit that comma use is probably one of the most misunderstood aspects of grammar, but in Picture Perfect, it goes way beyond misunderstanding and borders on abuse. It's absolutely awful. But wait... there is good news. The comma use is pretty much the only awful thing about this story.
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Picture Perfect is the tale of a photographer whose instincts are better than Superman and Spiderman put together. Based upon his wife unusual "not tonight dear," he comes to the amazing conclusion that she must be cheating on him. I've been married seventeen years and have only had my wife say that a few times, and yet not once did I ever think she was cheating on me. In fact, now that I think about it, I've been the one to say "not tonight dear" more often now that I'm approaching forty. It's HER libido that has increased. I guess I'm not eighteen anymore.
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(SPOILERS BELOW)Despite the main character, Gary, being psychic or something, he sets out to prove his wife's infidelity. His wife Judy is not the brightest flash bulb in the camera case, because despite Gary being a photographer and installing a new smoke detector, leaving a new watch, and setting up a "charger" on the dresser (all of which are hidden cameras) she never thinks he might be videotaping all of it.
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But of course she's oblivious and her paramour Pete, who evidently has contacts in the Chicago underworld, screws Gary's wife in perfect innocence. Gary goes from broken to pissed to dividing up the assets and then interrupts coitus to inform his wife he's planning divorce. Divorce. Yes. Despite a seven year old daughter and years and years of good marriage, great sex, and evidently some serious feelings.
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Which just goes to show what a bad judge of character Gary is. Why? Because after leaving Judy standing naked on the porch calling for him, Judy and Pete show up at Gary's photography studio to beat the shit out of him and take blackmail pictures. Yeah. She loves him THAT much! Gary is anal raped while his wife takes pictures and then she demonstrates her above average intelligence by unlocking his handcuffs. And then things really get weird. And I mean weird in a totally fictional way.
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He calls the police and reports a rape, giving his wife and Pete as the suspects. Yeah. Wow, right? Judy and Pete go to jail, Gary gets custody of the daughter and all the assets, and except for a painful rear end, everything turns out all right. Judy? Oh she eventually gets out of jail and ends up turning tricks to support her newly acquired drug habit.
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This isn't an erotic fiction story. It's a fucking soap opera/comedy. I laughed my ass off. Hell, it's even funnier now that I'm THINKING about it.
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With the exception of the overuse of commas, everything else was relatively well done. I'm glad I read this one. I'm going to be amused for the next two or three days when I think about it. But one things for sure... I'll be listening for my wife to say those words: "Not tonight honey."
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
(7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 31, 2011 |
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I gave this a '10' because it was so realistic. Nearly every bit of it was the way it would probably happen in real life. So unlike the way similar stories always turn out. Thank you. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
rocket71
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
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I know a women like that, she got hers too.
(7/10)
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