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Ashley at the Annex
Author: Abe
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(Added on Apr 20, 2011)
(This month 57903 readers) (Total 62152 readers) |
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Ashley is sent to summer camp for weight loss and classes in seduction and sexual sensitivity. (by request) |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 20, 2012 |
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Abe seems a master in alternating between ups and downs, storywise. "Ashley At The Annex" belongs in the latter category, mainly for reasons mentioned by both Dryhill and Martiniman -except that I won't go as far as calling this story "well written". For that, there's way too many disjointed and/or strangely wrought sentences plus slip-ups which are usually made by non-English speaking people.
JJ (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Martiniman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 17, 2012 |
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This is so mundane & boring. Everything was so matter of fact with no feeling or emotion. It was pretty boring although some of the ideas were decent. It just never lived up to what it could have been. Then I was extremely disappointed with the ending! There were brief & boring lesbian acts in the story, but in the end she submitted to a man & called him master. Not a big thing, yet the story code was misleading since it never mentions a male. Decent writing & decent ideas, yet I feel very unsatisfied after reading this story. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2011 |
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Almost an excently written story, but dear author you really should remember the sex of the characters you created. When Ashley is first examined by the doctor you write:-
"Ashley submitted to an examination by a gloved woman doctor, dressed in black,"
Yet three, if not four times after that you refer to the doctor as "he". i accept there is probably more than one doctor in the camp, but the way the story reads it is the first doctor and therefore a female not male!
Then we get to the end, and it is one of the shortest endings i have ever seen. It is as if the author has run out of ideas or wants to get on to the next story asap. It is also rather implausible, surely Ashley's father would have gone to the police and would be seeking to get at least some of his money back. Finally is this really all Ashley can do, can she not become one of the trainers at the camp or find someone better at the hotel ..... anything to score over Bill Paul?
To sum up, a well written story with good characterisation and good descriptions of clothing, location, food and action but for me, at least, flawed so only an eight . (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
rocket71
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2011 |
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WOW- great story. (10/10)
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