|
|
|
|
|
The Jackson School for Girls
Author: Dave,
|
| |
(Added on Apr 22, 2010)
(This month 29662 readers) (Total 41458 readers) |
| |
This story is very long and starts off slowly and gradually gets harder. It was written a few years ago for my own pleasure and as such was never proof read or spell checked. It is very time consuming to do this because of stories lenght. Therefore i am submitting the first few chapters, and if there is enough interest then i will submit more at regular intervals. The story itself is all about the humiliation of young ladies by a collection of folk who use them for their own pleasures. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
80% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
vario
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 9, 2012 |
| |
Well written and interesting story!
I would like to read the promised sequel to this story. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
CarolinaSpanker
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2011 |
| |
Fan Dam Tastic Please post more and soon!
Perhaps he could humiliate them while during panty inspection he find brown stain marks and smells a fart in the seat of their panties! (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
wincert
(Edit) (Mar 27, 2011)
- many thanks for your kind words. they certainly encourage me to write more. maybe i will include some of your suggestions in future panty inspections. Have you read my other story A NEW LIFE. I think you might like it
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lp1951
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 17, 2010 |
| |
Tremendous humiliation story with great detail! I enjoyed each detail of the girls humiliation. The detailed description of the girls thoughts, feelings and the panties, bras and pantyhose they were wearing and presented for inspection is excellent.
I look forward to the next posting and reading more of what will happen to these girls. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
janet_t
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2010 |
| |
Nice humiliation and control story, I really enjoyed it. Very interesting story line, and some hints in story so far makes me waiting to see how the two girls and their mom complete their submission.
I like how the story in detail describe how the two daughters is trained step by step verbally and psychologically and the future so far hinted at sounds delicious.
Very engaging story.
(9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
wincert
(Edit) (Apr 29, 2010)
- Thank you Janet for your kind words. will be updating on a regular basis and hope you stay with it to the end
- Replied by:
wincert
(Edit) (Apr 29, 2010)
- Thank you Janet for your kind words. will be updating on a regular basis and hope you stay with it to the end
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Epimetheus
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 26, 2010 |
| |
First the positive:
I enjoyed the story very much, especially the amount of detail describing the humiliation of these young ladies was very satisfying. The description is very apt in that it starts off slow, however in this case I believe this to be a positive thing rather than negative!
When reading this story I see you have a very good understanding that highlighting subtle elements and the build up enhances the final act of (in this case) degradation, gives it a lot more power. I definitely hope to read more of this story!
The negative:
Despite the overall attention paid to detail, some points seem to be skipped over rather hastily, for example: Near the end it mentions "for the next ten minutes he abused her breasts every way he could", I would have preferred to read exactly *how* instead of this declaration, as this was the first time 'abusing her breasts' and this leaves it rather open as to what really happened. But these moments are, fortunately, few.
You already commented yourself that the story isn't proof-read or spell-checked and unfortunately this is indeed apparent and it is the only reason I did not give this a rating of 10. I understand it is a lot of work, however I would consider it well worth it for the gem you have written. Perhaps at least running a basic spell checker with some clearer paragraphs? Either way, my compliments for a very good story!
P.S. A small nitpick, can't resist mentioning it, however it is rather distracting to have words capitalized that shouldn't be (panties, bra, colors, school, tit, mother, ...) (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
wincert
(Edit) (Apr 27, 2010)
- Thanks for your review. Its always good to hear both positive and negative comments. As for the proof reading thats a difficult one as i always believe that one should never proof read your own work. Take your point about certain words starting with a capital letter. They were words i wanted to emphasise at the time. The story as published was spell checked but its never going to be right when i write in English Enlish and the computer spell checks in american English. Take an example. In your P.S you spell color the American way. Thats not the way i would spell it. The spell check does not correct that and so its highly probable that the story contains both English spelling and American spelling. Its a problem with spell check. But hey its the story that counts and as long as you enjoyed it then thats good
|
|
|
About 