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Ravie's story
Author: Helen Tracey
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(Added on Apr 22, 2010)
(This month 21110 readers) (Total 38609 readers) |
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Kidnapped, confused, hurt... she wonders why... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Martiniman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 10, 2012 |
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While its not erotic enough for my personal taste, but it's an interesting read. However, it would have been nice to know the reason for the girls enslavement. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2010 |
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On one hand i want to read more about Ravie's (not forgetting the unknown sister slave and Mistress) adventures, but on the other i think this is the correct place to stop the story and let the reader's imagination take over.
A very well told story with lots of lovely description. Thanks helen for a great read. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2010 |
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I was really pleased with this story and the few "wrong" words that were there didn't distract me too much. The author did a very good job describing not only the action, but the settings as well. I FELT as if I were there. I wish there had been a bit more dialog, since dialog moves a story along, which brings me to the shortness of this story. I would like to say that this is a very interesting plot that has a lot of development and arc, but I actually felt like I read chapter one of a long story, or at least the introduction to a short one. As good as this was, I'd like to caution the author not to serialize a story if there are no sub-arcs to each "chapter". Otherwise you risk losing your reader's interest. *** One other minor issue I had was the back and forth transitions between memory and current events. There is certainly nothing wrong with this, however I would recommend making each section a little longer. Instead of alternating paragraphs from one set to the other, try putting two or three paragraphs from one memory or current event together. That leaves the reader with each scene a little longer and keeps the tension going. Every time you switch it has the potential to destroy the sexual tension you are building. *** All said this was a very nice first offering from Helen Tracey. Grammar was excellent, content was superb, and I found myself disappointed when I got to the end...because there wasn't more. You've got my attention Ms. Tracey. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
bullfinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2010 |
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Such a good story, I hope to read more. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
grinner666
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 27, 2010 |
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This was an unexpected pleasure, and I hope we'll be seeing much more of Ravie's "adventures." I won't go on about how hot the woman's cruelty to Ravie is, as other reviewers have already made note of it, but rest assured, the situation and story are most excellent. One note, something to be careful of; some of the author's misspellings aren't easily caught by a spell checker. "Yolk," for example, is A word, but not THE word she was looking for. Other than that, a remarkable first offering. I'll be looking for more of Helen Tracey's work. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Surtea
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 27, 2010 |
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Very well written and hot. Leaves you wanting to know why and what happens next...
And I do hope you will tell us! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
johnlw77
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 26, 2010 |
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This is a very good start to the story of Ravie. Helen omits the usual stereotyped descriptions of sexual attractiveness and leaves Ravie's desirability to be inferred from her innocence and carefree nature, her mind stayed only on kingfishers! the drama of her waking up in hell is very effective. Helen should keep us guessing the real purpose of her abduction for a long time - if indeed there is a purpose one beyond the ominous "Because I want to, because I can !” - i.e. there are no constraints on what she might do so Ravie can have no hint of boundaries or predictability. Until we hear more, we have to watch her at the mercy of unbridled sadistic lust. I await with impatience the unfolding of her doom. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
ravenbait
(Edit) (Apr 27, 2010)
- John,
Thank you for your lovely review; I am pleased you like the story, and hopefully I can let you know where Ravie's story might lead ...
Thanks
Helen
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 25, 2010 |
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More than a good start. This intro sets a mood of desperation and wonderment, as Ravie has been transferred from what seems a 'normal' everyday life, into the private realm of a sadistic wench.
No explanations, no preliminaries. Not needed either, since we follow Ravie's train of thought --and she doesn't know what's happening, so why should we?
Helen Tracey made her entrance ascending the red-carpeted staircase leading to the main doors (I'm in a Cannes Film Festival mood) with this first upload. As such, expectations rise as to what will follow. "Ravie's Story" --as the title indicates-- could become a small saga, but doesn't need to, as this short, although mistifying to both Ravie and the reader, stands on its own.
Anyway, I was 'delighted' to meet Ravie, or vice-versa, depending on which language you speak.
Oh, one inconvenience needs attending to, and that's the umpteen typos and/or spelling mistakes/omitted words. Takes down the reading experience. Not the reading pleasure though...
Hope to read more from Helen Tracey's darker side soon.
JJ (9/10)
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- Replied by:
ravenbait
(Edit) (Apr 26, 2010)
- Jimmy,
thanks very much for your lovely review, it is always a pleasure to get one, good or bad. Sorry about the typos etc.. but I uploaded the wrong version of the story. I had a proof-read version (same story, just spellings fixed) but sent the wrong one - very sorry xx
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