|
|
|
|
|
Greg's Story
Author: kemosabe
|
| |
(Added on Feb 25, 2002)
(This month 111893 readers) (Total 184652 readers) |
| |
Greg & Heidi Cole find a vacation in Morocco much more than they anticipated. A wealthy Shiek finds Heidi just what he was looking for. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
17% |
17% |
0% |
67% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 18, 2009 |
| |
I'm afraid I must partly agree with Aquila's critics. Add to that the tale is called 'Greg's Story" while everything centers around Heidi.
Also, the constant switching of the narrative from one character to the other, is annoying.
Still I had a more than average liking to the story, that's why I still have an eight in store.
JJ (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
kemosabe
(Edit) (Jan 24, 2009)
- This story was written at the suggestion of an emailer named Greg, married to a beautiful young woman named Heidi. Greg was even so kind as to send me a couple of pictures of a naked Heidi that inspired me to write this story.
If all you objected to was the title and the manner in which the story was presented, I feel like your rating is justified. Still, I am not writing historical novels nor am I interested in doing a great deal of research. (as Aquila has obviously done)
. I am primarily interested in my own joyment in writing erotic stories (although I have never been able to bring myself to write multiple chapters with no end in sight) and if others like them, so be it.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Aquila
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2006 |
| |
Overall rating: ‘8'.
As to the idea of the story it is definitely a ‘10'. The author definitely has talent for imagination and story telling therefore the following is intended only as constructive improvement of this specific work from this individual reader as I have not yet read any of this author’s other works and do not assume to be an expert reviewer or professional editor.
As to development of the idea it is probably a ‘7': I personally would have enjoyed it much more if it were a longer (say at least 12/15 times as long) story with much greater development of the characters, greater detail of the events and much less void areas in the time line. Each of the main characters could have been developed with much greater detail, physically and psychologically. The sexual details within each of the specific events the majority of times left this reader hanging. If it is the author’s intent to let the reader’s imagination fill in the details then many readers will not enjoy this story as much.
As to the research behind the story it deserves perhaps a ‘5' - reason: the author has placed the story in Morocco but the destination is Algiers which is in Algeria not Morocco - the closest major Moroccan city (Tanger) is 809 km / 503 miles distance. The currency described (Dinar) is correct for Algeria but not for Morocco (Dirham). The Dinar is the primary denomination of currency in at least ten countries (Algeria, Bahrain, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Libya, Serbia, The Sudan, Tunisia and Yugoslavia). Thus Heidi’s auction price (Five million dinars) in Algerian Dinar would equal $69,855.80 in US Dollars. However if the auction were actually held in Morocco and the auction price were in Moroccan currency (Five million Dirham) it would equal $548,286.00 US Dollars.
The Seraglio or high class (imperial) harem practices were either not researched or followed: Heidi apparently had very little other female contact except Domino which is an area of the story that was too little developed. A wealthy Sheik would supposedly have had many such slaves from many different locations around the world, especially such locations as Asia, Africa, Europe, Scandinavia, etc. According to Alev Lytle Croutier in Harem - The World Behind the Veil: “It was a sin to have hair on one's private parts. Hair was removed from the legs, underarms, genitals, and even the nostrils and ears... "While washing and massaging one another, while scrutinizing closely for the first signs of emerging hair, the women often became lovers as well as friends."
Since the story was written in or before February 2002, I would enjoy seeing the author, with his/her current experience (February 2006), take this story and:
• really build on what they have created by filling in the details,
• developing the characters and in some cases add additional characters,
• adding missing information from days, weeks and months that are not accounted for,
• answer questions such as what was in the ‘vitamins’ and what was/were its exact intent, was there more than one formula of ‘vitamins’ depending on the day of the month or the anticipated activities of the day,
• who was the ‘mystery woman’ in Chapter Seven?,
• as well as expand it further into the future (at least two to five more years past the current ending) for Heidi. (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
kemosabe
(Edit) (Mar 6, 2006)
- you're kidding, right?
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Lord Thomas
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 25, 2004 |
| |
Excellent.
Very sexy and even more intesne withthe slavery aspect and the awakening of the slave to her destiny. Well Done
LT (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2004 |
| |
no wordy review needed here (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
agp_millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 27, 2002 |
| |
mmmmmmmmmm very erotic and beautifully written (smile) Thank You Kemosabe. (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
fluffnorth
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 25, 2002 |
| |
Well done. The story kept you quite involved. Very sensual.Just a very good mix of. Sex and Slavery. (10/10)
|
|
|
About 