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A Classy Lady
Author: calm27
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(Added on Jun 22, 2008)
(This month 53830 readers) (Total 65984 readers) |
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A man falls head over heals for a distinguished looking women. Fascinated by her elegance and beauty, he finds out soon enough that she is a temptress looking only to have him as her pet slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
chuck
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 24, 2008 |
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You have taken the time to break up the story into coherent paragraphs and the few spelling errors indicates that you used a spell checker. You will need to improve on structure as some of the paragraphs are awkward. The trap of the spell checker is that it can't tell if a word is inappropriate (e.g. 'bedding' vs.'bidding'; 'women' vs. 'woman').
The low score reflects your need to improve your grammar and get someone to proof your writing. There is hardly a sentence that does not have grammatical errors, particularly in regard to tenses, plurals, and usage.
On another note, one thing that bothers me, when you try to present the lady as 'classy' you have her call herself classy. A truly classy lady would never have to point out that fact.
I like your enthusiasm. The story flows at a nice pace and I feel that you have an imagination that will blossom as you gain experience.
(3/10)
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| Reviewer:
masterdw
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 24, 2008 |
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do not use words that you do not understand. Lppk up fastidious. It does not mean whatever you think it does and cannot be used the way you used it. More background on Sam. Friends? Girlfriends? prior submissive patterns. Previous sexual history? (8/10)
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