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Little Miss Piggy
Author: Dirty Dreamer
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(Added on Sep 28, 2007)
(This month 74563 readers) (Total 103932 readers) |
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Claire is busty 17 year old is hypnotised by her two best friends and her mind is modified in turn to remove her free will and give her a foot fetish along with many other new attributes. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 7, 2010 |
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Most of the time, when there's even a few errors in the synopsys, I start the story with a little trepidation. Often, that trepidation is misplaced. But a lot of the time it isn't.
"Little Miss Piggy" had me raising my eyebrows right from the very first sentence, as "Claire shut the door and got in her car". Right. Wormed herself through the window, I guess? Makes sense. Especially sporting those 'pert' DD tooters.
Or, the door she closed wasn't fom the car, but was standing there, left behind by someone, just waiting to be opened and closed.
And the DD boobs. They had me wondering again. The fast and furious way the author has his 'descriptions' at hand. Descriptions which go no further than those oversized tits, an athletic body (have you seen all the different shapes, sizes and colours the latter come in?), petite with the face of a goddess (as if the author has ever seen one, right?) and a "curved and sculpted" body. Like a corkscrew, I imagine. That's curved and sculpted as well.
Okay. So Claire sports a double-D rack, while the others haven't got any. Tits I mean.
Then, after Dirty Dreamer gave us the impression Megan had already arrived at her friends' place, since they were having a nice conversation about Claire's former squeeze, without transition Claire is driving around town again. Hey, but wait a minute! When Claire gets at Mary's place, all of a sudden she's not alone in the car any longer. Nope. Mary's there too. As if by magic.
And Megan lives at Mary's place, I guess. And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat too.
I could go on about all the inconsistencies, errors, silly behaviour and wishfull-thinkingness, but I'll save everybody some time and just add that indeed, Dirty Dreamer is just that.
Story has a pinch of promise though. Just a pinch, as the subject of hypnotizing a lass into doing all kinds of weird stuff has been done to death as well.
Very sloppy writing, to say the least, because the story lacks on all fronts. Descriptions are none existent, characters are flat and interchangeable and the narrative is full of holes, little conveniences from the author, and silly conversations...
JJ (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mist
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2008 |
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Great story! I think the 2nd part was better... please continue with the story! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
dewsdrops
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2007 |
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very nice start .. the 1t part was much better i think..s (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Haelix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 1, 2007 |
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Off to a beautiful start. I really like how we dont know what all they did to her while she was unconscious.. and I'm really excited to find out! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
DarkDesires2376
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 30, 2007 |
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This is a great start to a story. Hope you continue it, looks to be a very promising read. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 30, 2007 |
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The only thing really holding this story back is some awkward grammar/spelling, which tends to disrupt the flow. Otherwise, this is a very sexy mind control/humiliation story, with lots of potential for the future. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
fellatrix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 29, 2007 |
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Fun setup; ok writing. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Coday
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 29, 2007 |
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Nice story, love to read the next chapters (9/10)
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