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Learning to Cum
Author: Cum Girl
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(Added on Jul 12, 2007)
(This month 9960 readers) (Total 22233 readers) |
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Cum Girl learns how to Orgasm on Command for her Master. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mount_sianni
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 24, 2007 |
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I really liked reading your story, very exciting! You did a good job of getting inside Cum Girls head (as you would as she is you!), good writing is like that - letting you see the world from another perspective. Thanks for sharing and keep writing, although not many comment/rate - of which I am usually guilty, I bet load of other loved it too! The butt plug chapter was ace! 8/10 as it was well paced, novel (for me) and enjoyable - I didn't skip any parts! (8/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2007)
- Thank you mount_sianni. A 'story' like this takes me about 2 weeks to write and edit. Knowing what I wish to say is easy as I am writing about my life but trying to put it into words is sometimes a struggle. I love receiving reviews, even bad ones. I have published so that others may read 'my story' and knowing that individuals have taken the time to read and comment makes me very proud (hopefully not excessively so).
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 23, 2007 |
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I was not overly thrilled with this tale, nor was I completely disappointed. It provides and interesting insight into the author's world, but it does so in a rather flat manner. "Master" and "cum Girl" were repeated all too often, giving a sing-song feel to the story. Grammatically, the story was a bit unsound, though not offensively so. More than anything, the style of writing kept me at a distance and I felt as if I were reading a "How To" manual. I just didn't get anything from it. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2007)
- Thank you H Dean. You and I have very different writing styles. Your work is fictional and you stick predominantly to using an authoritative narrator. That is your oeuvre and it creates a similar feeling of distance in me. I appreciate that there may be a sing-song feel in the constant repetition of 'Cum Girl' and 'Master' but given there are only two persons involved there is a certain inevitability about that. Dialogue is repeated verbatim as I remember it which probably adds to the effect. I do try to get the grammar mostly correct but am prepared to ignore the rules if I feel doing so better conveys pace and emotion. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2007)
- Your words are taken well. I hope you understand that I am commenting from a purely literary point of view. I also hope you understand that my review had nothing to do with our disagreement over the review we conflicted over.
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| Reviewer:
earthed_angel
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 23, 2007 |
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I assume I've now read the re-read/edited version, and I think it was a great story, and very well written. I've also had problems orgasming with my partner, so this story had a very personal connection with me. But, other than that, it was just plain hot, too! Good job, cum girl, and I will make a point to find your other stories now. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2007)
- Thank you earthed_angel. It should have been the re-edited version that you read, however as the amendments were technical rather than substantive it wouldn't make much difference unless you are excessively concerned with grammar and tenses. Re: orgasming; I have found a mental place where sexually anything seems possible and I have been released to feel limitless pleasure. I am unable to explain how it works, all I know is that it does.
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 18, 2007 |
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I'm jealous. I do hope 'Cum Girl' is real and don't want to know if she isn't. The story; it was well written for internet fiction and easy to read which isn't real easy when you are your own editor, tenses etc. can get past you. I would like to see 'Cum Girl' talk a little more about her past and what she thinks makes her want to be owned. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 19, 2007)
- Thank you DeGrinch, I am very real as is my 'story'. I am registered on The Slave Register where you will find some basic details about me. I have corrected the story and will re-submit it, hopefully I will get my grammar and tenses correct this time. Thank you for the suggestions, I feel a bit 'written out' currently but will do my best next time I have a 'story' to tell.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 18, 2007 |
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the oine thing i real love aboutthe story is the reality of itm in RL, aloot of Master tran their subs to cum on command as such nice to see a story that covers this rare aspect of RL training (9/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 19, 2007)
- Thank you mkemse for your kind review. Since writing the 'story' Master has dispensed with counting from 10 and I now cum as and when Master instructs, either on the command 'cum' or at a more general instruction (eg. to cum every time his tongue strokes my clit). It truly is a most amazing experience and I am a very fortunate Cum Girl.
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| Reviewer:
ljd
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 14, 2007 |
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I loved this story. Thought it was well written and thought out. Looking forward to reading more (9/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 15, 2007)
- Thank you ljd it is always a pleasure for an author to receive a review and know that her work was enjoyed. I hope you take the time to read my other submissions. Cum Girl
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 13, 2007 |
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This was not really a short story. Your grammar needs a lot of work as does your use of tenses. A story has a plot and characters; this writing has no plot at all. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
cum girl
(Edit) (Jul 15, 2007)
- Thank you for reading and reviewing my submission. I am sorry you did not enjoy it.
It is not written as a traditional story with a 3rd person narrator, characters and plot. It is written in the 1st person as this is 'my story'. It is the story of my life with my Master.
What I tried to convey was how I have learned to orgasm. Before Master I had never orgasmed with another person, now I am able to orgasm at my Master's command. That is the plot, which I chose to depict through three seperate 'Scenes'.
It is clear in the narration that all the 'Scenes' occured in the recent past. As I am narrator and participant the 'Scenes' are written in the present tense. However, on re-reading I have noticed that on occassion I have reverted to the past tense. I apologise.
I try to ensure that my grammar is correct. I spell and grammar check all my submissions. I am sorry if there are any errors.
Cum Girl
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