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Beckys Vacation
Author: Kromwell
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(Added on May 29, 2007)
(This month 58370 readers) (Total 83559 readers) |
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Three young tourists are lured to witness a special native ceremony |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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14% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2007 |
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Not bad at all, a proof reader could help and I suspect you could find a volunteer in the forum section. The story is clear enough and heavy on description. You might try to work the intricate details into the story line to improve the flow of the telling. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
bthest
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2007 |
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Like everyone else, I think the story was good and I'll be reading the next one.
The reason I didn't give a higher rating was your typos and dialogue format which was confusing.
Tip: You should start a new paragraph every time a different character speaks. It makes the dialogue much more easier to read and you can omit some of those repetitive "he said, she said" speech tags.
Please take that into consideration when writing rest of the story. I hope it helps. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2007 |
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altho not realy into snuff my self it was a good story (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
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Typos and formatting issues aside, this was a well put together story. I am curious what will happen to them all! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Masterdarkone2000
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
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Good story.. Eager to see where the story goes from where you have left it.. what happens once the ceremony is under way and what happens to the three of them (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Lee Boudine
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
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Well written with very clear detail of erotic fantasy. This introductory episode raises high expectations for sequells. EXCELLENT ! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2007 |
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Not a bad start for the tale, although a good proof reader would help. An interesting premise; I'm looking forward to seeing where you go from here! (7/10)
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