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The Taking of My Prize
Author: Rhabbi
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(Added on May 11, 2007)
(This month 49112 readers) (Total 58142 readers) |
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This is a fantasy about rape. This is not a story that has a happy ending, nor does it paint a pretty picture |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Lee Boudine
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 21, 2007 |
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I too wish you could get in the girls head and describe her feelings. Maybe you could give it a try as you penetrate her clenched sphincter to take her anally.
There is a nice flow to the rape description as you torment her. But, I think you have an ability to describe her physically which you neglect.
I am certain you can get 10s on you next episode. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (Jun 21, 2007)
- Thank you Lee,
On the issue of description, I could describe her in detail, but I opted to let thr reader ppaint his own picture. This was on the advice of a couple of fellow writers, and may not have been the best choice, but it is the one I made.
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| Reviewer:
Mishka
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 29, 2007 |
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I found the point of view of the rapist very intense. I do not tend to enjoy rape stories, but this one was well written, the descriptions clear, the emotions well expressed. I'm actually looking forward to the next addition. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 30, 2007)
- Thank you Mishka.
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| Reviewer:
MajesticFae
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 20, 2007 |
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I enjoyed it, Rhabbi. There were a few minor spelling mistakes (I'm a bit of a spelling nazi *grins*) but the overall content is good. Fantasy rape isn't generally "my thing" but I did enjoy reading this. It was well written and quite emotional. I find it interesting that you chose to write this in first person, I think it made it more intense than had you written it in another way. The only way it might have had a teensy bit more intensity is if it was from the perspective of the woman in your story, to truly know her feelings and such. Maybe a companion story coming from her side? Or a few more chapters, as Ruby said. Bravo! (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 21, 2007)
- Thank you Fae for your review. I need to work on those spelling thingies, my spel checker seems to miss them.
I do intend to continue this story, I am just a bot overwhelmed at the moment.
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| Reviewer:
Ruby
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 14, 2007 |
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What adds to the intensity of this piece, is the rapist telling his victim his version of the story. He isn't speaking to a friend or to an audience, he is speaking directly to her.
It isn't pretty. It is intense. It captures a disturbing scene and the delight of the one in power. For those who get of on non-con, this should make their day.
Rhabbi,
Thank you for the warnings in the intro. They are appreciated.
Perhaps you'll give us a chapter two or more.
Ruby (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 21, 2007)
- Thank you Ruby, I actually see this as a letter he is writing to her, there is more to come in the future.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 13, 2007 |
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nice job on the story, just not thrilled with the perspective of the rapist being used, but just my opnion (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 21, 2007)
- I am not sure what you are saying here. Are you dissatisfied with my poresenting the internal conflicts of the rapist?
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| Reviewer:
tinkerbell
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 12, 2007 |
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I found this story very intense, beautifully written,You felt the mans excitement and control of the situation at all times. Moreeeee please (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 30, 2007)
- Working on it, but have to finish a couple of things before i can settle down to writing for fun again.
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 11, 2007 |
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Yikes! Normally I find first-person stories lacking, but in this case it actually DOES add to the tension in the story. We never know what the woman is thinking--like all rapes, this is just about the man and his control. Rape isn't pretty, you are right! (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Rhabbi
(Edit) (May 21, 2007)
- Thank you for the review. I wrote this this way because this is the way it is for me in my fantasies. rape is a bout the man, not the woman, and I get tired of the stories that paint it as romantic.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jul 7, 2007)
- I haven't read this story yet, but if you got an 8 from Carrieanne you must be doing something right. She is a hard nosed and bitchy reviewer who pulls no punches. Part of why I like her.
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