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A guy get examined
Author: Tim S
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(Added on Mar 15, 2007)
(This month 10878 readers) (Total 21407 readers) |
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This is a story about a 28/m getting examined and then getting taken advantage of. This is a medical fetish story. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Clepsidra
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 7, 2008 |
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Hey, first review!
Ok, lemme think. There area few problems, but the story has potential, and if you fix it it can be really good. The stuff that happens is sexy, and the premisse is ok. But you donŽt give the right details - I mean, there are details, but not the right kind. You should say more about what the victim is feeling, why is he submitting, explore more the humiliation. Oh, and why not crying? Crying is good. :)
The dialogues should be full - not you telling us what was said, but the characters actually saying. Then we can see some personality - is he stuttering? DOes the doctor sounds sure of hinself? Does the man? And so on.
I see you like this story (is the second time youŽre telling it), so make it so that weŽll see why you like it so much. When you think about it, you probably see the faces, the voices, everything. Show us! :) (5/10)
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