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Dark Desire
Author: Harold Wellington
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(Added on Dec 13, 2006)
(This month 22730 readers) (Total 48681 readers) |
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Young woman developes a burning desire to be humiliated and forced into sexual situations with no control of her own. She makes plans for this to come true |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 12 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 7, 2010 |
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So far for subtlety. "Dark Desire", besides being in-your-face, is also taking off like a heatseeker missile. With the slight difference this rocket doesn't seem to quite know where it wants to go, at times.
As such, the rocket runs out of fuel after a while, and goes down in a fizzle of sizzle.
A bit to analogy with "Dark Desires".
Because there's no build-up to speak of, we're right in the middle of the hard 'n' heavy action as of paragraph three.
From there on, it's hard to maintain the pace. Not even when more characters are added. That addittion being far too brusque as well.
Despite being rushed, lacking in psychological and other background, "Dark Desire" was well written. Which saves the story from mediocrity.
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Elkor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 27, 2008 |
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I like the premise and the lay-out.
I'd like to see some stories from her past in a different story set.
The second chapter starts of wonderfully, but the ending is a little trite. Rather than gloss over the events by saying "a few hours later" either truncate it and have the encounter be shorter from a timeline perspective, or go into more detail.
From a realism standpoint, making it shorter would make more sense for a "random" encounter.
Overall still very enjoyable.
Unfortunately, Chapter three is less enjoyable. It could be broken into two chapters and expanded on, keeping the story in line with what was going on. Also, having it turn into "someone using her for profit" tale is rather disappointing. I'd enjoy it more if were recounts of her encounters with "random" people in her store. The last chapter gives away too much detail of the future story, and doesn't leave any suspense, which is what I liked about the first two chapters. Unfortunately, I have to lower my rating because of this.
(7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Doc_Odd
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 11, 2008 |
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I definitely liked how this started out; I think it didn't quite keep up the same level, unfortunately. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 6, 2008 |
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I had a hard time deciding between '7' and '8'. I finally went with the lower due to the numerous misspellings, but the story itself is very good — as good as its predecessor.
Edit: Following chapter three, bumped up to '8', but Harold, you really gave away the store in your last two or three sentences. I'm not a big fan of foreshadowing, but this actually counts as foretelling. You gave us what seems like it'll be the complete plot of the rest of the story. Part of the fun of reading well written stories is not knowing what's going to happen next. Aside from that, please don't make us wait a year for the next episode. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
farside757
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 4, 2008 |
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Love this whole idea. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Masterandsub
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2007 |
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Really enjoyed this story; it was let down by a few mis-spellings and the ending had a "must get this done before I go out in 15 minutes" feel, but the main text had excellent suspense and really made me want to know more about the character, both in background and in future exploits... (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
subbaby
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 4, 2007 |
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Loved it. Made me so wet. She made herself so vulerable. I can't wait for more! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
ravianx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 16, 2006 |
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Build up good, different story and idea, where is it going next? (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Masterdarkone2000
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 15, 2006 |
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I like the idea as the story starts but I am eager to see where the story will go and what will happen to the girl the next weekend. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 14, 2006 |
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A very good concept and nice use of suspense. You could do with a more thorough proof reading but the story is good enough for most to ignore the few gaffs. Please continue, and soon.
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 14, 2006 |
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Promising story. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 14, 2006 |
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nice concept and story (7/10)
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