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Penny\'s service
Author: Penny Gifford
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(Added on Nov 2, 2006)
(This month 12683 readers) (Total 29474 readers) |
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From childhood, Penny had always played at online games. Real relationships had had a rough side but nothing like her games, until drunk one night, a co worker gave her a ride home. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
stoneman4444
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 4, 2006 |
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Thank you for your story, I enjoyed it very much. While I agreed with the editorial comments in the other reviews, your story is an exceptional first step in expressing your deepest desires & fantisies. Your story is more compelling than many because it is the product of much personal thought & introspection. Make sure that future stories are written as this one...to bring YOUR fantisies to others...not to create fantisies to please others. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Harleydom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 3, 2006 |
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I enjoyed this story very much. While i will agree with chksng19 in terms of editing, but in terms of originality, it revealed much of the writers desires in her own life.
I would recommend use of a word processor (Word or Word Perfect) and let the program help you edit and such.
I too look forward to more! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 3, 2006 |
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Penny, you have a major concern in holding your audience. While the story is fine and even interesting in spots, you have a serious need for an editor, or at least a proof reader who will help you avoid silly mistakes. "Cuming" should be cumming, no capital letter, and double m. Find out the difference between close and clothes, threw and through.
I realize this can be caused by a spell checker, but it is very distracting, and detracts from the mood of the story.
I look forward to more! (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
toronto40gal
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 2, 2006 |
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good start, hopefully more to come
(9/10)
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