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Jade\'s first odysessy
Author: Bastet
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(Added on Feb 17, 2006)
(This month 51347 readers) (Total 58947 readers) |
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Jade\'s a stuck up solitary girl that finally attains the things she won\'t admit she deeply desires. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
C_Lakewood
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2006 |
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This is the final paragraph:
------------------------------------------------
Aidan ignore my nonsense, and began to read with
fascinating vitality. I sat on the bed in
paralyzing awe. a slight luminesence over one
hemisphere of his face from the glow of the
computer screen, while I embraced my words
beating with life and oxygen, he gave birth to
a mute, and interperted it with a dialect and
sound I would have never imaged.
----------------------------------------------
If you like this kind of pretentious,
self-indulgent stuff, then by all means
read the story. I think it needs an
intelligent and independent editor, but
it doesn't seem to have even been
proof-read -- and certainly wasn't
spell-checked. It is so "subtle" in
parts that it is incomprehensible.
(3/10)
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- Replied by:
1nkbloT
(Edit) (Feb 20, 2006)
- It sounds you may be a tad pretentious and self-indulgent aswell from your former responses.
Unfortunately people are entitled to their own opinions.
I give you a 2/10.
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 20, 2006 |
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I gave temporary a 5 as it is only a rather long introduction. Will review this when there is the rest. It's looks promising.... (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2006 |
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An interesting character sketch of a complex but quite believable young lady. Any BDSM in the story might be a little bit subtle for this site but well written (8/10)
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- Replied by:
1nkbloT
(Edit) (Feb 18, 2006)
- Thank you, I'm very much just still in the body of the story, It isn't complete. I'm very creative in actual acts of BDSM - and I think the build up and atmosphere are absolutely the most important parts, and i'm proud of what i've written, Wrapping it all up has always slightly been a problem for me. But Thank you for your feedback!
It was my first, but it won't be my last - Check back!
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