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camp/site
Author: J Scourge
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(Added on Sep 21, 2005)
(This month 79735 readers) (Total 103577 readers) |
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Three girls on a camping trip are kidnapped by a parmilitary group and tortured for information when suspected of spying. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 15, 2006 |
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A fun little story - I raised it from a six to a seven because of the presence of Liza! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
susankarl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 29, 2005 |
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With my enjoyment of cruel women enjoying the art of torturing other poor females, it is not hard to see why I like this story. Of course there is a sudden introduction to the "good bits" as the author intended, and I sympathise. It is not a bad way of trying out a set of characters to see how well they set into a story frame. Having found a cruel tormentor desperate to pleasure herself with acts of sadistic barbarity, a trio of as yet hardly exposed victims awaiting their fate, and a reader of the story already enjoying her reactions, surely the story must proceed. I await the next chapter with interest. Susan. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
J Scourge
(Edit) (Sep 29, 2005)
- You did peg some of my feelings for the characters with your comments, Susan. My original intention was to return to the reader, Samantha with another story. The desire expressed by you and others who contacted me personally to tell more about Paulina and her friends makes me consider what really should come next. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Coming from such a darkly depraved writer such as yourself (that is said "lovingly" you know), I feel honored. For those unfamiliar with her work be sure to search for Susan's stories under the name Susan Karlson.
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 23, 2005 |
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I understand what you were doing, and it's one way to write a short story, however, it's kind of 'cheating' in that as an author you don't have to develope charactors which is the truly tough part of writing a short story. That said, I thought that what you wrote was well done and easy to read. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
J Scourge
(Edit) (Sep 24, 2005)
- I suppose the style was cheating of a fashion, but there are many approaches to writing and there is no question that I went right for the "good stuff" as some might see it. I make no apologies for little character or plot development as my intent in showing this as a story within a story would have been less effective if the story was drawn out. The effect it had on Samantha and how she saw herself as the characters in the story was the true thrust of what I wrote. I'm pleased you "got it" and enjoyed it!
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 22, 2005 |
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I liked the story, notwithstanding the fact that it is perhaps a little too much like the stories of Cortez. I found the ending surprising and yet reasonable. The screams were perhaps a bit overdone, and I could have done without the threat of bone-breaking, but all in all a nice effort. Ordinarily I would complain about the lack of characterization and setting, but with the ending being what it is, I think the story works better as a quick jab, than as a roundhouse punch.
(8/10)
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- Replied by:
J Scourge
(Edit) (Sep 24, 2005)
- There is no question that much of the styling was fashioned like some stories by Cortez. I do consider that high praise though I do not feel my story truly approaches his caliber. This was done as a salute to his work as I have enjoyed it so much and because I turned someone on to his stories and her response to it and another story of mine inspired me to write this story. One of my closest friends also critiqued the screams prior to my releasing the story and I admit I ignored her pleas just as the Commander ignored those of Paulina. Being the prolific writer you are, I am further honored that you not only took the time to comment upon my story, but gave me the high rating you did. Thank you!
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 21, 2005 |
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A bit of a plot might be in order here! All you do is torture with no understanding why. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
J Scourge
(Edit) (Sep 22, 2005)
- "What's your game now? Can anybody play?" (I could not help referencing the Hollies after I saw your nick).
I was impressed that 4560 readers have read my story as of this moment. I do hope more of them liked it then apparently you did. A writer can't please everyone! It was good of you to take the time to offer your opinion, though.
The true story was NOT about the girls being tortured but the one girl, Samantha, who is reading ABOUT the girls being tortured at some web site and being incredibly turned on by it.
That is one of the reasons why I intentionally made the beginning of the story feel like the middle.
I was inspired to write this by a young woman who admired a previous story I wrote plus my own admiration of many stories written by Cortez.
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 21, 2005 |
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It would have been nice if the story started just before they were taken. It would also be nice to know what the girls look like. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
J Scourge
(Edit) (Sep 22, 2005)
- Thanks for taking the time to write. Do read my response to heycarrieanne for some additioal info rather than repeating those ideas here.
I must say I have some definite thoughts as to what could have preceeded the girls' capture and subsequent torture. I also had thought out and did briefly reference what had happened to Paulina's friends Amanda and Meg. Should I go back and write a "prequel?" Should I continue the story of the 3 girls and their tormentors? Flesh things out, so to speak?
I actually have an outline to write additional stories about Samantha and her varied interests. Whether I write the stories or not remains to be seen. What I really was most curious about was who among the various readers of the story identified with the different characters. I must admit my own favorite character in the story is Liza--so deliciously evil.
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