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Scotlands Alcatraz
Author: obohobo
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(Added on Jul 2, 2004)
(This month 90582 readers) (Total 108126 readers) |
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A new prison is set up on an off shore island where young offenders are sent to be educated under a disciplinary system that involves them living intimately with each other. Two especially so. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
muddpup11
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 9, 2004 |
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good story..a bit choppy in places...but will gladly recommend it..how about a secqual...jan 7 den...a bit later on down the road type of thing...i can seem them growing old together..but in the secret world of Hi-tech super spies...one never knows do we ??? (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Engineer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2004 |
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Nice basic idea, good language, smooth reading. But the institution's implementation lacks educational logic, and the actors' behaviour is full of contradictions, as has been already explained. Mostly, the story is just-another-fucking-and-thrashing, dressed in a prison gown. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
MistressKali
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2004 |
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I have to agree with longrover on the points of explaining the motivation behind the main characters and more in depth character development. For most of the story I had to keep stopping to think about who each character was as there really was nothing that made any of them memorable, except of course the twins. This story has real potential and I do hope that you consider a revision, or allow someone else to revise it with/for you. Keep up the good work. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 2, 2004 |
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Good story! I liked the plot, setting, and two main characters, but a rewrite aimed at two points would help. First, Derek and Ros behave in ways that cannot be explained within the story. His combination of idealism (the program) and sadism and her mixture of exerience (sexuality) and inexperience (first day's performance) are hard to understand as written. The other point is a good proofreading aimed at missing and redundent words. Well done, though, and a good read. (7/10)
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