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Businesswoman Going Down
Author: Master of Norway
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(Added on Jul 31, 2003)
(This month 52128 readers) (Total 72594 readers) |
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A sexy hardworking businesswoman enter the wrong bar to call for a taxi after a night on the town. She enter the bar, but there is no way out again. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2004 |
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story idea and concept are good, waiting to see what happens (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
cardinal
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 11, 2003 |
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Good story, waiting for the rest! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Emily
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 2, 2003 |
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A good first effort. As your English improves your stories will, no doubt, improve too. Please continue to write! (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
castle2001
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2003 |
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Ditto Powerone (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Powerone
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2003 |
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The storyline wasn't too bad, but the grammar, spelling (its torn, not thorn) and formatting of paragrphs (new one each time a new person speaks) needed work. I noticed that you are from Norway, so I am assuming that English is not your first language. Your English is choppy, missing tenses and words in sentences. You might go to the forum and see if someone will edit your story before you post it.
As I said, the story line was fairly good, it just seemed like she gave in too easy. You made her such a strong woman in the beginning, but then she just gave in and did everything she was told. (5/10)
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