|
|
|
|
|
The Orphans Home
Author: Big Bad
|
| |
(Added on Jul 4, 2003)
(This month 32128 readers) (Total 64489 readers) |
| |
A story of a Orphans Home in the near future where with over population the orphans are used for a number of things including BDSM,Sexual Torture and Snuff. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
17% |
0% |
33% |
17% |
17% |
0% |
0% |
17% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 17, 2005 |
| |
Another story not finished (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
MrMan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2004 |
| |
This story is good! The grammar SUCKS! The start is slow! You gotta figure out how to do the Viral-population infodump better. But once it gets moving, I find that I LIKE this STORY!
So My Rating is 9. Even though it is NOT well written at first, it is still VERY enjoyable! (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
torny
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 9, 2003 |
| |
Good scene setting first chapter - I look forward to the next installment. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2003 |
| |
Sorry, but the masters of this "Oephanage" need to work on grammar, punctuation, spelling etc. Far too many errors, for such a short installment. And far too little care is given to giving the reader a reason to return for chapter two. No characterization, no dialogue, no scene-setting -- just a bald statement of the nature of this 'futuristic' world -- but who wants to spend time in a world devoid of personality? I hope the author goes on to make this a fine story, and wish him luck -- but many of those who read this first chapter won't be back. Too many stories, too little time. It may not be fair, but first impressions are everything here; an author who rushes a mediocre first installment to print, rather than taking the time to make it the best story possible, has only himself to blame when readership drops off after the first installment or two. Authors -- ask yourselves the question -- "Would I rather readers read my first chapter today (the only 'semi-rational' reason for rushing an unpolished installment into print) or would I rather take a little more time making it better so that they are still around to read my last chapter later?" (2/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Firepager
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2003 |
| |
I can only hope it gets better. For a first chapter it was far to short (4/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
don11
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2003 |
| |
Very short - too long. (4/10)
|
|
|
About 