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Dear Kim
Author: dieen young
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(Added on Oct 24, 2015)
(This month 73959 readers) (Total 73959 readers) |
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Kim Donovan has dream of opening a drug rehab and support center in honor of her little brother.in order to try to raise funds Kim sets up a face to face meaning with the mayor of the city. mayor Cullen takes a strong interest in young pretty girl, but so douse his personal assent Madison Rize |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
gkp00co
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 16, 2015 |
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I agree with every point made by JimmyJump, except that I judge spelling and grammatical errors more harshly. Since every wordprocessor includes spelling and basic grammar checking, these sorts of errors basically mean that you don't care enough to click on an icon, or, Lord forbid, proofread your work.
"the sound of Kim chambering a built was more than an enough of an answer for her" Seriously. No capitalization of the start of a sentence and no period at the end -- one example of several. But most jarring were the obviously wrong words in the wrong places, such as 'built' = 'bullet'.
Try making friends with another writer and critique each others' work. You need another set of eyes.
Regarding the story, once I accepted the initial premise, the tale worked OK.
(3/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 25, 2015 |
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Although the author clearly has some skill, to me the story so far doesn't make much sense in that there's too much of an imbalance in the portrayed emotions of Kim (referring especially to the part with the gun at the end).
Also -and as so often with blackmail based stories- the basis for the blackmail is practically non existent; something which a smart woman like Kim should realise.
To further downgrade the reading pleasure, the author manages to make too many mistakes, both on the gramatical and spelling side (too many homonyms, like "they're" for "their", etc.).
Lots of room for improvement.
JJ (5/10)
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- Replied by:
gkp00co
(Edit) (Nov 16, 2015)
- I agree with you in principle, but some folks unravel under pressure (sometimes even mild pressure) and their actions thereafter can be irrational and totally unpredictable.
Furthermore, it's plain that Kim is damaged goods even before she's threatened by Madison. You refer to her as a 'smart woman' but she's only barely in one piece. Cut her some slack.
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