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Asteroid, Mine

chapter 3

Asteroid, Mine
 [part 2/4]
		   --=--

 Asteroid, Mine  [chapter 3]

 I picked an area of town at random, then got off to find myself in a
 somewhat seedy part of town. As I walked down the street I felt right
 at home. This seemed to be the industrial sector, the faint metallic
 smell in the air hinting at activities inside the brick buildings
 lining the road. Men were streaming from one place, shift change, I
 thought. I stopped one rather sour looking gentleman and asked where a
 good place to eat was. He looked me over from head to toe, my toe
 rings glinting in the afternoon sun. His face brightened a little and
 he looked up and pointed to a nearby corner.

 "Pat's bar, if you like hot and spicy." he said. "There's a fish
 joint on the next block that ain't half bad."

 I thanked him. The fresh food hadn't upset me yet so I thought I'd
 press my luck and try Pat's. Dusty windows, even sawdust spread on the
 floor. I ordered a beer and from the menu, scrawled on a chalk board,
 hot and sour soup, curried lamb, and a rice noodle dish. I took my
 beer to a table by the wall. There were a few men and women in the
 bar, just getting off work, or waiting to go on. I drank my beer,
 trying not to seem like a tourist, although in my bare feet I didn't
 exactly fit in with the crowd. I toyed with the sawdust under the
 table. I caught the barkeep's attention and pointed to my empty mug. A
 full one was brought over, heady and ice cold. They must have a pipe
 direct to the brewery. My lunch arrived and I dug in. The soup was hot,
 and sour, sufficiently so to bring a tear to a glass eye.

 The lamb was great, the noodles spicy, and with big chunks of chicken.
 I finished it all, washing the food down with two more frosty mugs of
 the wonderful beer. The men in the bar had stopped looking at me.
 Apparently I seemed to fit in after all. I paid for the meal, glancing
 at a map of the town pinned to the wall. The spaceport was just two
 streets over. I thought I'd walk over and take a look before heading
 back to the Lambda bar. When I came to a laneway between two factories
 I cut through. I was near the other end when a rough hand grabbed me
 around my throat, pulling me over to the side. I felt the blade of a
 knife press against my back.

 "Gimme your wallet." the man said.

 I only had my cash card, the key card to my shuttle, and some loose
 change in my pocket, but that's not the point, is it. Working in low
 gravity you need to do regular exercise to keep fit, and I spent a lot
 of my free time in the grav gym on base. Too much of my free time,
 actually. I also had some training in self defence, although I had
 never had occasion to put it to use. The schlub who'd grabbed me
 seemed blissfully unaware of all that. Slowly I dug in my pocket to
 let a few coins spill out and clatter on the pavement. I felt buddy
 move as he let his eyes follow the rolling coins. Lightning fast I
 drove my elbow into his stomach, then sprang to my right. His knife
 slashed the air where I had been millisecond before, his arm, meeting
 no resistance, swung in a wide arc. Before the poor slob had a chance
 to recover his balance my foot lashed out, then back, but not before
 delivering a crushing blow to his nuts.

 The man dropped slowly to his knees and slumped forward. As a final
 insult I dove in to two hand chop the back of his neck. He went down
 like a bag of hammers, his knife spinning from his limp fingers,
 landing before me. As I bent to pick up the change I'd dropped I
 noticed the cheap knife, low carbon steel. Looser, I thought. Serves
 him right. I didn't think I killed him, I thought, as I walked away,
 but if I had I'd probably done him a favour. There's plenty of honest
 work around here that no one should have to roust sweet innocent girls
 like me for cash cards.

 I left my friend slumped over in the alley. I had heard him groan so I
 expected he would live to die another day. The spaceport bordered the
 next street over, but the gate was far on the other side, and I had
 lost interest in hanging around here. I watched the passenger shuttles
 take off for a while, hauling people up to the big transports in
 orbit. Then I caught a bus at the corner heading for Fleet street.

 The bus let me off a few blocks up from the bar. I stopped in a record
 store along the way, picking up some of the discs that I liked from
 Peter's collection and arranged for delivery to my hotel. A little
 farther down was a sex shop which I looked around in, nervously
 handling the finely crafted leather things they had there. I picked up
 a thin black leather strap which fit nicely around my wrist. The snap
 fastener had an ingeniously hidden mechanism which required a small
 key to be fitted underneath to open it. I picked out two of them, the
 colour going well with the shirt I was wearing. At the counter the
 girl showed me how the snaps closed and opened even though I had
 already figured it out myself. She clipped off the tags, then put one
 on each of my wrists, snapping them closed and handing me the tiny
 keys. After I paid her I walked outside, feeling a little self
 conscious for a while, until I noticed that no one was really paying
 any attention to the two straps, leather cuffs, on me.

 The spicy food I had eaten earlier was beginning to make it's effect
 known on my stomach so I stopped in a little cafe and had some green
 tea with a light pastry bun that helped to settle things down. After
 a while I left the tea shop to walk the last block to the Lambda bar.
 At the bar I ordered a brown cow, easy on the Kahlua, then found a
 quiet corner to relax in. The band on stage was just finishing their
 set, more modern stuff this time but after a short pause another group
 took over, a jazz band, oldies from early twentieth century.

 The tea I'd had earlier, plus the smooth fresh milk settled my stomach
 nicely and I began to get into the rhythms coming from the stage
 nearby. A little while later I heard a voice call my name as Mark made
 his way to my table to join me. He was admiring my tee shirt so I
 shook my tits underneath, making the starfield time shift, a trick
 that always cracks me up when I do it in the mirror. That did get a
 laugh out of him.

 Mark told me that the ship his group had chartered for the survey had
 been unavailable due to nav-com problems so he had to take the mag lev
 to the south to do his readings in the desert region. He talked a
 little of the beauty of the arid lands which circled the planet at
 it's equator and was disappointed that he was only able to explore a
 small part of it with the land vehicle he'd been able to hire. I would
 have liked to see more of the planet myself but my shuttle wasn't
 authorised for atmospheric flight. I mentioned to Mark that I had my
 own shuttle to which he said that his group could get permission for
 me to fly him and his partner to do his survey. I would be well
 compensated for my time as well as the use of my ship, he said.
 Although I wasn't hard up for credits the extra cash would be welcome,
 and I would get to see sights I wouldn't have ordinarily.

 "We could lift off at dawn." he said. "There is a research station in
 the north, near the pole that I need to visit. Then south west to the
 coast, the fisheries management building. After that, a fly by of the
 desert, along the equator, then home by dinner. Around the continent
 in one day." He used his phone to call air control to arrange for a
 permit for my shuttle.

 Mark seemed pleased when I agreed to take him on his trip. He told me
 about some of the sights we would be seeing such as the fish farms on
 the coast supplying food as well as stock for export to other worlds.
 We moved from the noise of the dance area to find a quiet niche in the
 garden to have dinner. Mark had a steak with onions and potatoes while
 I nibbled on a plate of chicken salad. I gave into temptation however,
 with fresh strawberries in cream, which were delicious. Tea with the
 meal, a small brandy after, I felt myself again.

 Mark had noticed the two bracelets I was wearing and said they were
 nice. During a pause in the meal he took my hand to finger the leather
 strap, examining the snap closure. He asked if I had got them at the
 store up the street. Apparently he was familiar with the merchandise
 there. I dug in my pocket to show him the little keys that opened the
 catch. Mark cautioned me not to loose them, that there was a flexible
 titanium band under the leather covering, that made the bracelets
 rather difficult to cut through if the key became misplaced. I had
 known that they were well crafted judging from the price I'd paid but
 knowing this extra feature gave me a new perspective on the two black
 bands which adorned my wrists. Looking closer I noticed the barely
 discernable rivets that held the snaps to the metal band underneath.

 I used the key to open one, then examined the clasp more closely. I
 now saw that the snap was made from titanium also, light weight yet
 super strong. The strap had molded itself to my wrist easily yet there
 was no lateral movement to the innocent looking leather. Mark took the
 bracelet from me to look closer at it.

 "Yup, old Jimmy sure does fine work." he said with a grin.

 He took my hand and wrapped the bracelet around my wrist. When Mark
 pushed on the snap, the solid click seemed to reverberate straight
 through to my brain. I carefully tucked the two tiny keys into an
 inside pocket of my jeans.

 It was almost time for part two of the lecture to start. We went to
 the basement auditorium and found seats, near the front. I began to
 tell Mark of the show, the whipping scene he missed last night after
 he had to leave. Mark amazed me again when he said he'd known Steve
 and Cindy, the couple who'd done the demonstration, from collage. He
 told me of a party he'd been to last year where Steve had put the whip
 to first his wife, then to two other guests who were curious as to how
 it felt. I was eager to hear more but just then tonight's speaker took
 the stage to begin the lecture.

 It's funny how you can go for years gathering bits and pieces of a
 puzzle, trying to interpret the picture from a few fragments. Then one
 day you discover enough parts to suddenly begin to understand the
 whole. "The subject of tonight's talk is bondage," the speaker intoned.
 "I will attempt to show several methods and positions that a body can
 be bound, and I will explain the use of a few devices that one may
 purchase, or fabricate from commonly available materials. Afterwards
 there will be a discussion into the motivation and the feelings that
 makes bondage so pleasurable for many people."

 The curtains parted to reveal a table piled with various articles, and
 a nude woman seated in a chair, tied to it with meters and meters of
 white rope. A black blindfold covered her eyes and a bright blue ball
 was strapped in her mouth.

 For the next two hours the speaker used items from the table to bind
 his assistant in ever more constricting positions. One time a bar was
 lowered from the roof, the type of bar stage scenery would be hung
 from. The man lashed the girl's arms behind her back. She was quite
 limber, he explained as he easily drew her upper arms together, her
 elbows touching, and tied them off with rope. He then bound her ankles
 to the bar with her feet far apart. The bar was then raised up until
 she was swinging freely, suspended upside down by her ankles. Another
 time he used thin but adequately strong string to bind the girl's
 thumbs together, behind her back. He looped the ends of the string
 around her waist to tie it tightly around her, pulling her hands to
 the middle of her back. Then she was seated on a mat on the floor and
 her big toes were tied together, pulling her feet close to her waist.
 I saw her squirm a little to settle into as comfortable a position as
 was possible. As the man spoke about her bondage I saw her close her
 eyes and there was a smile on her lips. She seemed to be enjoying her
 predicament.

 The man would always keep a close eye on the girl when ever she was
 bound. He explained the need to be certain no harm came to one's
 subject due to a rope that was too tight, impeding the circulation, or
 some other event. He spoke on the safety requirements of any type of
 suspension, that there should be no chance of something breaking or
 slipping loose, causing a nasty tumble. A screen was lowered and a
 series of pictures were presented, people tied in elaborate and rather
 artistic ways. There was indeed, he said, bondage for art's sake. Some
 of the rope work adorning the bodies of those in the pictures was
 quite beautiful.

 When the demonstration was completed there was a short question and
 answer period where the man took questions from the audience. Several
 of the discussions were quite interesting to me. There seemed to be
 many people in attendance who, like me, knew that they wanted to
 explore their fantasies farther, but were unsure just how far to go
 with them. At the end of the lecture the speaker and his lovely
 assistant received an hearty ovation from the crowd. Mark said to me
 that he was going to visit with a friend and he invited me to come
 along. I said sure, why not. He said that his friend lived close by so
 we walked the few blocks to a tree lined street and his friend's two
 story house. Mark introduced me to his friend, Ceylon, a strikingly
 beautiful woman around fifty, and her husband Tim. Tim was shorter
 than me, also around fifty or so.

 Ceylon took immediate charge of me, ushering me into the large sitting
 room at the front of the house. Like me, she was also barefoot and I
 couldn't help but notice that she wore rings on each of her toes, some
 quite ornate and beautiful looking. She had, on the toes of her right
 foot, a green coloured kind of bar shaped thing with holes in it,
 three holes which her three middle toes went through. Naturally she
 noticed me staring and when we sat on the couch she raised her foot
 for me to look closer.

 Mark and Tim had gone to the kitchen to fetch drinks while I examined
 Ceylon's jewelry. Camel jade, she said of the green bar, it had an
 intricate carving along the top edge and it had been shaped to follow
 the contours of her toes perfectly. The rings she wore behind the pale
 green bar were lovely. The one on her pointer toe was gold with a
 rather large diamond set in it. I touched the jade bar with my
 fingers, seeing how tightly it fit around her toes. I asked her where
 she got it to which she replied that it was found amongst some
 antiquities in a museum storage room on old Earth.

 "Tim bought it for me at an auction several years ago." she said. "I
 believe it's very old, from a country called China, but no one really
 knew. At the auction they didn't even know what it was for but Tim
 guessed what it's true use may have been." Ceylon lifted my feet to
 examine the rings I wore. They were just plain silver rings, not
 anything fancy like she had. I told her that I had them made for me
 from a small nodule of silver titanium alloy I'd found on an asteroid.
 She smiled when she saw how perfectly they hugged my two toes and said
 they suited me nicely.

 Tim and Mark returned from the kitchen carrying a tray of snacks and
 drinks. I saw Tim smile when he saw me and his wife, our feet in each
 other's laps. He handed Ceylon and I glasses of red wine, then set the
 tray of food on the low table in front of the couch. Mark sat beside
 me, Tim took a chair nearby. Mark gave my neck a little nibble, then
 reached in front to run a finger over Ceylon's camel jade toe ring.

 "Tim and I worked together for a few years," He said, "salvaging what
 we could from Earth. We brought back shiploads from museums in what
 was once America. By that time much of the paper and magnetic records
 had deteriorated so the researchers could only guess at the
 significance of things that we recovered. Who could have carved this
 from a piece of green stone and how long ago?"

 Mark hooked his finger under the jade bar and gave Ceylon's toes a
 tickle. Her hand gently squeezed my foot. Tim looked on. You could cut
 the wierdness in the room with a knife, I thought. But I also felt it
 was a nice, cozy wierdness. Tim got up to retrieve a book from a
 shelf. The room was filled with shelves piled with books and objects,
 beautiful sculptures, ancient looking furniture, all from old Earth, I
 guessed. I put my feet on the floor as Tim handed the big book to his
 wife. Inside, Ceylon showed me pictures of things and places from
 Earth, photos that Tim had taken when he worked there. Tim refilled my
 wine glass.

 Mark was leaning over me looking at the album as Ceylon turned the
 pages. His hand was on my thigh, sliding it up and down occasionally.
 Ceylon moved closer to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. I saw
 the pictures of ruined cities, once majestic buildings, and objects
 whose beauty defied description. One photo showed a ship, an old ocean
 sailing ship carved from the same green stone Ceylon's toe ring bar was
 made from. There were chains hanging from the masts, chains made from
 rings carved and polished from what looked like one solid piece of the
 jade stone. The whole ship was half a meter high and a bit longer. A
 scale had been placed on the table in front the ship when the picture
 was taken. I looked up at Ceylon, her lips finding mine in a gentle
 kiss. Mark's hand squeezed my thigh, up high, very near to my pussy.

 We looked at the last few pictures in the album. On the last page was
 a shot of the planet as seen from space, the moon in the foreground. I
 drank the last of the wine in my glass. I don't know if it was the
 strong drink or the heady atmosphere of the house with all the old
 earth relics around but when Tim suggested that we all go upstairs to
 the bedroom I felt that it seemed like the most natural thing to do.
 Tim led the way with Ceylon taking my arm to follow and Mark behind
 us. We went up the stairs to the big bedroom that took up the back
 half of the second floor.

 Ceylon was wearing just a simple purple dress made from a thick, soft
 cotton, that she pulled over her head before we were even in the room.
 Tim slipped off his sandals, then pulled off his shorts and shirt. I
 turned to Mark who had his shoes and shirt off and was unzipping his
 pants. I unbuttoned my jeans, then sat on the bed to pull them off. I
 pulled my tee shirt over my head. Tim opened a drawer to pull out a
 piece of rope, then tossed it at Mark. Mark came to me and had me move
 up on the big bed, until I was leaning against the headboard. Ceylon
 moved to lay partially on top of me and held my arms up over my head
 while Tim took a chair in the corner to watch. Mark slid the two ends
 of the rope through my leather bracelets, then tied a knot, pulling it
 tight, drawing my wrists together. He then tied the rope to the top
 rail of the heavy headboard, then brought the ends to the side, tying
 them off there too. In less than a minute I was naked and helplessly
 tied to these people's bed, people I'd only just met.

 Ceylon sat back on her haunches to watch me come to the realization
 that I had suddenly lost all control of my situation. Mark was
 stroking her back with one hand while alternately caressing her tummy
 and her breasts with the other. Ceylon started stroking my thighs. Her
 hand moved up to cup my pussy, making me gasp. I pulled with my hands
 but the rope held tight. The bracelets I had bought myself now
 inprisoned me, held my wrists close together in their grip. Ceylon
 moved up my body, dragging her stiff nipples along me to softly kiss
 me on the lips. She kissed me again, more forcefully this time, her
 tongue pressing on my lips while rubbing my slit with a finger. My
 mind was in turmoil, at first. Then her finger's gentle probing
 started to have a soothing effect on me and I parted my lips to allow
 her tongue entry into my mouth. As her mouth pressed harder to mine I
 felt her finger press into me, slipping in easily. Her thumb nail
 scraped across my clit. I moaned and moved to touch her, the rope
 jerking my hands to a stop above my head. I moved my leg up until my
 foot found her's, my toes tracing along the smooth little jade bar
 surrounding her toes.

 Mark's hand had been busy at Ceylon's pussy. I felt him push his head
 between us to take my nipple in his mouth and gently start licking,
 then sucking on it. Ceylon moved down to do the same on my other
 nipple. Both their hands were on me, my waist and tummy, and lower, at
 my thighs and pussy, rubbing, touching me. I turned my head to look
 and saw Tim, calmly sitting in his big chair, his cock in his hand,
 watching. I closed my eyes and pulled at my bonds, gently at first.
 Then I remembered the titanium band and clasp, ten times harder than
 steel. I pulled harder, twisting my wrists inside the bracelets. I
 wasn't going to get free until someone untied me.

 Ceylon got up to move to the end of the bed. She grabbed my ankles and
 pulled me lower down until my arms were stretched straight up, my
 hands useless, high over my head. Then she knelt over my body, her
 back facing my head. She pushed my thighs apart, then bent down to
 press her head in between. I jumped a little when I felt her lips
 touch my pussy to kiss me softly there. I saw her sex just inches from
 my face, her swollen lips parting open as I watched. She was shaved
 down there with her outer lips pierced and a small silver ring
 decorating each one. Her tongue flicked out across my clit, making me
 jump again. Mark had sat back on the bed, content to watch us two
 women for a while. Tim had not moved from his chair.

 I had never before made love to another woman. Ceylon started in on
 me, instinctively knowing exactly what felt good. I could smell her
 arousal and I strained my neck up to touch her there with my tongue.
 She paused for a moment when she felt the contact, looking back at me
 underneath her. Our eyes locked and I smiled at her. She slid her
 knees past my head, bending her legs so her feet were up and her cunt
 came down on my face. Then she bent her head back down to continue
 lapping at my cunt. I stuck out my tongue to touch the rings that
 pierced her lips. I could hear the soft tinkle when they touched
 together. I pushed my tongue in further, past her rings and into her
 tight channel. Then down to find her sensitive nub, the little bump,
 bigger than mine, engorged with blood. Ceylon moved her feet against
 my hands. My fingers toyed with her toe rings while my tongue flicked
 over her two rings there. Her tongue was doing wondrous things to
 me. I found a little slack in my rope and I grabbed her ankles to pull
 her body up, to press her harder against my face while her head
 pressed harder into me. I sucked her clit into my mouth and pressed my
 nose up inside her as I flicked my tongue around and across that
 little button. Ceylon was doing the same thing to me. It wasn't too
 long before, first I, then she, exploded in a lovely orgasm, drenching
 each other's faces with sweet girl cum.

 Tim was ready with a towel to wipe my face off after he lifted his
 wife off me a bit so I could breath. Ceylon brought her knees up to
 raise herself off my head. Then Mark, who had been waiting so
 patiently, got on his knees over my head and aimed his dick at
 Ceylon's upturned pussy. She raised herself on her hands to let Mark
 enter her, then she eased her head back down to press her face once
 more on my cunt. Mark started to thrust into her, his balls hanging
 down and brushing back and forth across my face as Ceylon began to
 lick me again. I strained my head up to lick Mark while he fucked
 Ceylon. Once, I caught one of his nuts between my lips, sucking it
 gently into my mouth. He paused with his cock partially out of
 Ceylon's cunt. I strained up a bit more to lick the underside of his
 shaft and down to her clit. Ceylon jumped at this unexpected touch,
 moaning with my clit between her teeth. I let my head fall back to the
 bed as Mark picked up speed again.

 I felt a tongue lick my foot. Tim was sitting at the end of the bed,
 caressing his wife's head while licking my feet. I felt him lift my
 foot up a little to take one of my toes, one with a ring on it, into
 his mouth and suck gently. His wife reached to take his cock in her
 hand and started jacking him off while he continued to suck each of my
 toes into his mouth, pushing his tongue in between and licking my feet
 all over.

 Ceylon's talented tongue on my pussy, combined with the sight of
 Mark's cock sliding past Ceylon's labia rings inches from my eyes and
 Tim's ministrations at my feet soon had me pulling hard with my bound
 hands in the throes of a massive cum. Seconds later I opened my eyes
 to see Mark's balls seem to swell and he began spraying his cum inside
 Ceylon, her hot breath and her cries of ecstacy against my
 oversensitive clit making me cum quickly again, even harder. When I
 opened my mouth to scream Mark pulled out of Ceylon, then pushed
 himself into my mouth to squirt the last of his cum into me. I sucked
 his massive cock into my mouth as it twitched and spasmed, pumping the
 last two shots of his cum down my throat. There was a low moan from
 the end of the bed and we all looked up to watch Tim's cock, being
 stroked by his wife's hand, shoot ropes of cum over all of us, the
 toes of one of my feet stuffed inside his mouth.

 Finally a towel was passed around to wipe up all the cum that was
 everywhere. It was Mark who wiped me off and then untied my wrists
 from the headboard. We lounged together on the bed for a while, then
 we all took a turn in the bathroom to clean up and head down to the
 kitchen for something to drink. Mark and I shared a soft drink since
 we had to get up early for his trip. It was after midnight before we
 left Tim and Ceylon's house.

 Mark had phoned his hotel a couple times, finally reaching his partner
 to tell her about my agreeing to fly them around for their survey. We
 walked to his hotel which was near to the subway station. Mark invited
 me up to meet his partner but I wanted to get back to my own hotel and
 a nice warm shower so I declined. I told him where I was staying and
 he said he'd see me around seven.

 On the train ride to my hotel my mind was swirling with thoughts. I
 got the impression that Mark's partner was a woman and that maybe she
 was his wife. But that was not the only thing bothering me. Ceylon and
 Tim seemed to have such a nice open relationship. Their house was
 certainly interesting with all the old Earth relics around. I had
 never even had thoughts about being sexual with another woman but when
 Ceylon had positioned her pussy close to my face what I did just
 seemed so natural, and it was quite nice too. Of course what she did
 with her tongue to my pussy had given me feelings I hadn't had
 before. I came, sure, but it was a different kind of cuming, a slower,
 gentler climb to a most satisfying crashing plateau.

 The train neared my stop and I got up. When I put my hand on the bar
 beside the door my eyes were drawn to the black leather bracelet on my
 wrist. I stared, like I'd never seen it before. Ceylon had held me
 down while Mark used my bracelets to tie me to the bed like it was a
 most obvious thing to do. I hadn't put up a fight, I remember calmly
 watching him do it. After he finished I started to realize I had let
 myself fall totally under these people's power. Mark, who I'd known
 for one day and the other couple who I had just met. They could have
 taken my ship, the access card was in my jeans and the comm password
 is easy enough to crack. They could all be out system before I had
 screamed myself hoarse. The train doors opened but I stood there. What
 was I thinking, I asked myself. It's not like me to let myself get
 into situations that I have no control over. Someone pushed past me
 through the door. I got my feet moving, stepping off the train onto
 the cool stone of the platform. I watched the train pull out.

 After I had been tied up I remember Ceylon sitting back and watching
 me for some time. She was waiting, I now realized, waiting for me to
 say something, to freak out. But I hadn't, had I. I had been thinking
 about the pretty girl I saw that night, on the stage at the bar, being
 tied and retied in all those different ways. And here I am, I had
 thought, naked, tied to this bed while three nude people wait to see
 what I'd do. It was only after Ceylon was sure I was all right that
 she began to do those wondrous things with her tongue, hitting me in
 all the right places as only another woman would know how to do. I
 found the stairs and started up, to the lobby of the hotel. I bought a
 small bottle of milk from a vending machine, then went up to my room.
 I took a quick shower, then drank my milk and crawled into bed.

 Many pieces of the puzzle had been discovered today, I thought as I
 drifted off to sleep. The puzzle of what drives me sexually, why I have
 the feelings and desires that I do. I was beginning to understand.



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