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By Rasputtin Szczepanski
Chapter 7
Miss Ambrosia became Mistress Ambrosia that night. That was her first rule. She was now my mistress. I was to learn to respect her, to recognize her as my superior and to worship her. Unless she told me otherwise, I was to be naked around her all the time, so that she had easy access to my “charms” and I learned my place in her household.
I went home that night, wet and excited. It was a late weekday. Although I was practically living at Ambrossia’s house, my Aunt still expected me to stay at home. I could get away on the weekends of staying over, but on school nights I went home, ate something out of the fridge and then went down to the basement to go to bed.
I noticed the car gone and the light still on. A bad sign. That meant that Aunt Holly was gone and Herb was most likely home. Sure enough, as I unlocked the door and walked in, he was sitting on the couch watching TV. An old Burger King Star War decorated glass was filled with ice and coffee brandy on the coffee table. On the TV was something from Skinamax. He turned the channel when he saw me and smiled. “Well hello Liz.”
I nodded and headed to my room. He jumped up, ran over and grabbed my arm. “Hey! Don’t you even say hello anymore?”
“Hi Herb,” I said deadpan.
“You can always call me Uncle Herb.”
“Maybe when you marry Aunt Holly.” He still had his hand on my arm. He was wearing an old t-shirt and sweat pants. I was looking down, trying not to look in his eyes and I could see his boner pushing up, tenting his pants. I pulled my arm away and opened the door to the basement. I went to close it behind me but he held it open. I flipped the light on and went downstairs.
He waited a second and then stepped down a few steps and quietly closed the door behind him. He started down “I look at myself as more of a good friend to your relative anyway.” He slowly walked down the steps. “So where do you go all this time? A boyfriend?”
“No. Just a friend. I’m going to go to bed now,” I said exasperated.
He stopped at the bottom of the steps. “I can’t believe you sleep down here every night. It’s kind of creepy. Do the spiders get you?”
“It’s not bad. Not many spiders but some manage to make it down there. I kill them when I see them.” I stared at him, letting him know that he was a spider.
“I would invite you up to my bed. Much nicer. Can’t of course because Holly is in it. She’s not there tonight though.”
“Where is she?”
Herb moved closer to me. I moved back until the desk blocked me. “She’s out with friends. Won’t be back for awhile.” He placed his hand on my arm again, “No boyfriend? That’s a shame. You are so beautiful and sexy.”
Unlike you, disgusting and filthy, I thought. He pressed into me, his hand lifting my chin as he leaned down to kiss me. I wrestled my hands up between me and him and pushed him back. “Please, just go back upstairs so I can go to bed.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me back towards him. “Stop!”
His hand went up and cupped my breast and he pushed himself in again to kiss me. I pushed him away harder and he held me tight. “Listen, it’s ok. Just enjoy this.”
“Get the fuck out of my room Herb!”
He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head back. His full body pushed against mine. I could feel his hard-on press up against my thigh. “You are going to tease me every day and then get all fridged on me?”
“I wasn’t teasing you, just get the fuck out or I’m going to tell Aunt Holly.”
He pulled my hair harder back and I cried out. “She’s not going to believe you. She doesn’t even like you. You eat all our food, you never say thanks to anything. You never even say hi to her. She’s your only family and you treat her like shit.” His hand groped my breast through the shirt and bra again. “You need to start doing something to earn your way around here.”
“I’ll fucking call the cops and you will go to jail where you belong.” I was trying not to cry but the urge to sob was hovering under my chest, readying to burst through.
“You would do that wouldn’t you, you little ungrateful bitch. How about this? How about I start stealing Holly’s shit and saying that you did it? Maybe break something of hers and I tell her a little story about how I saw you going through her things. Who is she going to believe?” He slipped his hand under my shirt and pushed it under my bra, cupping my bare breast.
I tried to speak but instead, just a sob came out. I swallowed and forced out the words “I don’t give a shit. I will make sure you are dead or in jail. Who are the cops going to believe, a high school girl or a junkie meth dealer?”
He removed his hand and stepped back. “Where you get that idea? I aint no fucking meth dealer.”
I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I screamed “Get the fuck out of my room!”
He looked up at the door as if gauging if the children upstairs could hear my screaming. He stepped back, “You should reconsider. Things can either be real easy around here, or real hard.” He stared at me for a second, then turned around and went upstairs. He closed the door behind him and I ran up and locked it. I went down to my bed and fell down into it, grabbing a pillow and hiding my face in it, crying.
Upstairs I heard him turn off the TV and walk up to the top floor of the house. Various creaks and groans echoed through the house as it settled for the night. I lay there, wiping my eyes with the sheet and began to feel very low. Why was I letting myself become a victim? My sexual decadence was putting me in a vulnerable position with Ambrosia, although I was addicted to the feeling that she could give me. I really did worshipped her but it was a cautious love. Something about her scared me. She was dangerous, just like Herb. I was nothing but a sexual object to him as well. School was still miserable. I was miserable. I missed my Mom.
From somewhere came that sound of water dripping in a cave. So far off. I strained to hear it. Something that sounded like a swarm of bees tipped softly into my hearing and then disappeared. I couldn’t be sure if my ears were playing tricks on me. I stood up and looked around. The hum was almost mechanical but it was foreign enough to make the hair on my neck stand up. Then it as if it was too far away for me to hear anymore. I still had that feeling of déjà vu, like I had heard it in a dream. It was familiar and something was pinging me in my subconscious. I was awake this time though and it was no dream.
I walked slowly around the room, trying to figure out where the noise was originating from. When I walked though, I couldn’t hear it. I gave up, turned off the light and lay back down. As I drifted off to sleep, I could hear the noise, far off, like a tape of women screaming and then sped up one hundred times so that it was just a high pitched hum.
I slept, but restlessly, with disturbing dreams. My iphone alarm woke me up, the Justin Beiber song blaring way too loud for 6 a.m. I put on my robe and made the long journey up to the bathroom. When I worked my way to the kitchen, Aunt Holly was there, baking a bagel and already dressed and ready for work. She had a displeased look on her face. I rubbed my eyed and grunted, “hi.”
“You look a little hung over,” she said.
I went to the fridge and muttered “What?” Not really comprehending the question.
“Herb said you came in late last night smelling like a brewery.” Her Maine accent was thick.
I stopped and turned. I felt like I had just walked onto my first battlefield of the war. I knew I was on dangerous ground and I needed to wake up and pay attention. I said, “I was late but I wasn’t drunk. I was studying with a friend.”
“With your grades, I find that hard to believe.” She turned completely towards me and put her hands on her hips. “Listen, my rules are relatively relaxed with you being that you’re my sister’s kid but if you are going to stay here, you need to follow the rules. I want you home here on the weekdays after school unless you are working.”
I wanted to say that Herb was a junkie liar but I knew that salvo would be met with a formidable defense. “That’s not fair! I’m not doing anything wrong. I don’t even have fucking internet here. How am I expected to do homework?”
Her face grew stern. “You want fucking internet, you get a job and pay for the fucking internet. If you don’t like it, you can go fuck yourself and find someone else to mooch off of.”
“Some sister you are.” I turned around and stormed out, unwilling to let it spiral out of control and wanting the last word. I had already given Herb a win. I needed to be cautious. I strode into the bathroom and closed the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. The face that looked back at me looked tired and sad. The face asked with her eyes, why are you such a looser? I took off the robe and looked again. I was pale with dark rings under my eyes. My breast were ugly and fat. My shoulders sunk down as the weight of my depression began to grind down on me. I traced the tattoo on my chest with my finger. It no longer had an angry red glow to it. It was a part of me now. I whispered, “I’m not going to forget about you, Mom.”
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