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A new hunger awakened
I have always been the strong dominant one in my relationships. I always lead the way fixed the problems and just plain took charge of everything. I was always the aggressor in the bed room and got what ever I wanted from the woman. That all changed for me in the weirdest of ways. I was in my current relationship for just about 3 years; the Lady I was with did some searching about me and found my interest in BDSM. I did not know she had found me out; I had some experience as being the top always. We stared to talk about this some. She even did some of her own research.
One day she admitted she had interest but she would not be the bottom, I was to change my ways. Oh you know I had the usual thoughts “I will let her try and seeing that she was not use to a top role, that maybe I could change this up real quick.” I was mistaken in that thought. When we started she could show a dark side of her I never knew existed at all. I had a bag of supplies that I had bought. I brought them to her house to play with. I lost my supplies that night they became the things that would be used against me.
She had tied me up a few times and always enjoyed being on top during the sex. She would grab my nipples and twist them till I thought they were going to be ripped off. The thing I did not expect to find out was that I enjoyed her power over me. It gave her even stronger beauty to me. A glow within that she had always hidden and her confidence in what she could do grew.
One night as I was leaving she put nipple clamps on me and shoved a butt plug in my ass. I was instructed to wear them on my ride home. Ok so you may think not to bad, I lived over an hour from her. So many times I thought ok I am out of her site I can just remove this. I even at one point pulled over to do just that. The power she had over me over took my mind and I stopped myself. By the time I had gotten home my nipples were on fire and my ass hurt. I was new to something back there. When I arrived home I would get on the internet and ask her if I could remove them. She would eventualy give in and let me take all of the stuff off.
As things grew so did here supplies for me. She bought the CBT2000; she locked my balls and cock in a cage. I this powerful man now had no control over my manhood. I had to go to work like this she had they key. I was a manager at a car dealership; this affected me in many ways. I first had a lot of fear and being found out, I worked in close quarters and was afraid if someone brushed against me they could feel it. I kept checking to see if the cage left an outline in the slacks I wore. I soon found that the power it gave her over me to be a major mental rush. I would get home and my underwear would be soaked from pre-cum. I was always on the mental ecstasy cliff, one that I could do nothing to relieve. I am still not sure if she knew how much her power affected me.
Well things kept growing from there, the rides home clamped and stuffed started including the rides to her. That was worse because the rides to her were in rush hour periods and would take 2 hours to get there.
Soon we were living together and her supplies grew bigger. She had already taken over my clamps and ropes and floggers. She added leather bindings and a crop; she kept threatening to order a strap-on as well. Although I was some what use to the butt plug the thought of her with a strap-on scared the crap out of me. One night after we were living together she had strapped me with all of the leather bindings and locked them. I was in the CBT2000 and gagged. Then she took photo’s this was new to me and gave her more power that she could ever know. Although she told me she was posting them on a web site, I was more afraid that if I pissed her of my family and friends and even co-workers would get them. She also fixed a way fro me to get a taste of how it would feel if she had a strap-on. She rigged the butt plug into something she could wear, and took me from behind. I was overtaken by her power over me to do that. I had never thought of being taken from behind and was scared because I enjoyed her doing it to me.
She really had me right were she wanted me, I just messed it up from there. I began to top from the bottom; I kept pushing her for more, even though she was still learning this. She had really come along way but I pushed her for more and more. She felt it was all about the sex for me and very little about the domination. In part she was right and it was a mistake I made. I lost her as my powerful Mistress something I have always regretted. I continued to try and push her into the lifestyle even after she was tired of my insistence. I even found a contract and power of attorney and signed them all over to her. The bottom made the contract how dumb of me I pushed more. I pushed so hard she never signed it. I admit I was stupid I pushed away what I was at first afraid of feeling, but know I miss the feelings more.
I married this sweet woman and still in my mind she is my Mistress. She will say something to me sometimes so stern that my knees buckle. I just can’t tell her that. I love her with all my heart. I want her as my wife more than anything. I also want to serve her more than she may even know. I do mean serve I would even give up sex, even though the thought of making love to her is one of the best feelings I could ever imagine. I wish she knew the true feelings behind this man. How I hunger for her power and crave to truly be her slave.
I am writing this to submit for every one to read so people can see my devotion to her. At the same time I am submitting this to her so maybe she will finally know how she made me feel and how the hunger in my mind to serve is still unquenched.
She will always own my mind even if she does not know
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